Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thinking of home
I wrote a song yesterday about waiting for Tim to finally marry me. It's funny because I don't know if I can really play it for him. Which sucks cause I think it's a pretty good bluegrass tune. Anyway, I was practicing it today and it just got me thinking about home and my vision of how things will be different when I go back. When in reality I will still be in the same position I am now. I am just so ready for the simple life I have envisioned for myself. Will it ever exist? Why can't it start now? What am I waiting for? I don't want to be fifty years old before I am living sustainably and actually enjoying every moment of my life. It's like my life can't really start until this pivotal moment. Until I can get a commitment, and start making real decisions. I don't want to wait anymore...IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!
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Oh Erika! I wish I could give you a great big hug right now and sip on a cup of tea with you! I'm going through a bit of this myself lately. Thinking of where I want to be and it feels so far away.. and sometimes just never possible at all! One thing I've learned is patience is so very hard and yet sometimes the only thing that will get you by. Another thing is just to remember that we are on a journey and it's all the crazy adventures on the way to where we want to be or where we will end up. One thing I love about you is you know what you want in life.. and you will get that my friend!Sending you lovey vibes and trying to help manifest that commitment for you!!!!!!! xoxo's from Ohio's Michelle
ReplyDeleteI've had some Maybe Cancer scares over this past year. I've learned lots of many important things from these difficulties, but the one that seems to stick with me, whispering in my ear EVERYDAY, is this one:
ReplyDeleteYour life is right now. This very second. As you read this. THIS is your life. Unless God is telling you to wait until He says GO, then do not wait for certain things until you live the life you desire. We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised 5 more minutes. Your life is now.
I haven't read you enough to "know" you yet, but I am confident in saying:
You have the courage. You have the ability. You are worth it. Lead the life you want to lead.
I want to hear this song! I know you're worried nothing will change in your head or your heart when you come home...but I really think that it will. You will be with your family (and your rootdown family) and that will bring a comfort that you've been missing for a long time now. And if you decide at some point that you're ready to move on again...the world will be waiting for you. It is your playground. :)
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