Still Pending

Lots of things are still pending in my life right now. To name a few...
1. The Ohio Massage Exam
2. Rainbow
3. My Sanity :) (This is always pending)
4. A New Car/Truck?
5. Whether or not I am going to rent a u-haul (leaning towards yes)


Things that are no longer pending.
1. Tim is on board (he always was...I guess I worry too much sometimes)
2. Paperwork is in the mail
3. Costa Rica with my besty Sara!

I'm feeling better! I still don't know what is going to happen with this move back to Ohio, but I am a believer that we create our own realities. I need to stay positive and open to the paths that are being opened before me. I Don't want to miss any Serendipitous moments ;)

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

~Robert Frost

What Am I doing???

I turned in my letter of resignation at the spa today. I have so much anxiety lately and I have been trying to knock things off the list that are causing all of this stress, but something else keeps coming up. I'm teetering on the edge of insanity...
On top of my psychotic worries about if Tim will be happy in Ohio, I quit my really great job today with pure faith that everything was going to work out with me taking the Ohio massage exam and passing it on June 15th. So, I arrive home from work this evening to check my email and find out that some of the paperwork for my application never made it to the Ohio State Medical Board. I knew there was a possibility that I wouldn't pass the test, but I never really thought that would happen. I especially never thought that I wouldn't even get to take the test! What am I going to do? I don't want to go back home and be more lost than I am now... I just feel like I am in a tail spin right now. What am I doing? I am trying so hard to get my life in order and it is total chaos. I want to be in Ohio... so why is everything and everyone fighting against me? Hopefully I can talk to the board tomorrow and get an extension on my paperwork, but it feels like all hope is lost.

Excited and Seriously Stressed Out!

I'm going home! I have been saying it for months, but time has flown by and I only have a month and a half left in Austin. Moving is scary... it was scary when I moved to Austin, and it is scary moving back to Ohio. I still don't know whether they have accepted my application to take the Massage Therapy exam in Ohio and it is getting down to about a month before the exam. What if I don't even get to take it? What if I don't pass it? I will have to go home and find a job doing something else... Am I moving backward?
The difference between this move and the last one is that I am going home to a huge support system. I can't wait to go home, and on days when I feel like I have no one that gets me, I can call my Mom and say I'll be over in a couple of hours. I get to start thinking about putting down roots. I get to start saving money to build an Earthship out at our farm Rootdown. Before there was always a voice that said I needed to get out and explore, and live somewhere outside of Ohio. Now that I have done that I feel like I can go home and be content.

In the next couple months:

I am taking the Ohio Massage exam
Quitting my Job at the end of June
Traveling to Ohio with some things
Going to the Rainbow Gathering
Taking a trip to Costa Rica with my Best Friend Sara
Coming back to Austin for one week
Packing up to go home.
Starting a new life in Columbus, Ohio.

Who knows what will happen... hopefully my heart is leading me in the right direction. Sometimes you have to take a leap even when you are unsure about what the future holds.

Are we truly open?

For a bowl of water give a goodly meal
For a kindly greeting bow though down with zeal
For a simple penny pay though back with gold
If thy life be rescued, life do not withhold.
Thus the words and actions of the wise regard;
Every little service tenfold they reward.
BUT THE TRULY NOBLE KNOW ALL MEN AS ONE,
And return with gladness good for evil done.


-Gujarati


I come from a family without religion. I have spent my life surrounded by peers who base their beliefs on the teachings of different books, prophets, and traditions. I don't understand them. It all seems so trivial to me, because I know in my heart that no matter what religion or faith you are that we are all one. We will never agree, but at least we can try to RESPECT each other, and realize that the core of our belief systems all coincide. We can FORGIVE, tolerate, respect, and work together despite our differences or religious beliefs. This is freedom. No exceptions.