Today I feel like I need to recharge my battery. I need some passion. I need a swift kick in the ass. Will someone please tell me how a person like myself... can get herself so far down in the dumps? Someone who is not okay with being in the dumps. I am not okay with this! Since when am I not happy? What the hell is going on? It's like I am on a big ass wooden rollercoaster going a million miles an hour... so fast that I can't even catch up with my own thoughts. I don't have time to think about which way to turn becuase it's all just flying by. One big blurry mess...up and down.... up and down. I want off!!!
On a lighter note... It is time to change something. I need a break. Some mental relief. Not sure what yet... I keep thinking about spending some time at like a yoga/meditation retreat. No alcohol. No sleep deprevation. No work. No money! Nada. Just peaceful time to catch up with my brain. The problem is... responsibilities. I have an apartment to pay for. I have people that depend on me. (There I go again!) I want to make this happen.
Sometimes I feel like I am already becoming this old woman...Where is the carefree self I used to know? I want her back! It's time to change. It is time to restore my temple.
That girl is soo in there! You are not an old woman...but trust me, I know exactly what you mean. Some days I just think...god I feel old! But we are still the same carefree girls we used to be...deep down. Still filled with spirit and creativity. We just need a little help nurturing it from time to time. I think a retreat sounds like a fabulous idea and I'd love to find a way to make that happen for you! In fact..maybe i'll come along :) Let the brainstorming begin! love you mucho!!
ReplyDeleteI'm crawling out on a limb here...Me thinks that deep down you know what the issue is...that thing that needs to change...you just may not like the answer, so you're denying it. Thus, creating a strain to stay up instead of embracing the change...all the while acknowledging that change is indeed needed.
ReplyDeleteI could be so very very wrong, but I had this odd little feeling wiggling in my gut as I read your post.
Good luck to you, dear girl. You'll get where you're going.
Sending love to you from a little Indiana farmtown.